back on my high horse

those of you dedicated to my blog I thank you and I know that you know i am the most humble person I know. It pains me to big time you people but I have to tell you I get so much e-mail from people trying to tell me how great they are and all the projects they are working on. What they don't realize is they are telling all of this shit to Kenny Rogers. Yeah I have seen it all done it all and snorted it all. I don't give one shiny silver hair off my beard about your accomplishments, I am a legend in the Country Music World and the most respected actor of our time.

Thank you for reading this you can go back to your pathetic lives and your struggles while I sit upon the mountain and laugh.

thanks
Kenny

let me tell you bout my best friend

his name is peanut and he is a hamster. Here is a list of reasons why he is the best

1) He never tried to steal any of my women or more importantly any of my men
2) He leaves me the cutest little love droppings
3) He doesn't complain about the way I stink up the bathroom
4) He loves to watch movies and go for long walks on the hamster wheel
5) He gets all comfy in my beard then he makes the cutest little hamster farts
6) He's not afraid to lie to people's face to protect our relationship

He's the best ever and I feel really bad that I stepped on him this morning because he ate all of the mallowmars. He deserved to die for that, I am sorry and I will miss him but you don't take Kenny's mallowmars.

Sexy Beard Out

Buzzards in my beard

I eat a lot of red meat, I don't think you understand what I am saying I EAT A LOT OF READ MEAT!!! GET IT SUCKA MC? For the record when I eat its like a buzz saw on a baby's head, fast and nasty. So I have meat particles flying all over the place and a lot of good chunks of meat get caught in my silver sexy beard.

Yesterday I plowed through 40 pounds of uncooked prime rib, It was great. Don't worry I chased it wish some EX lax and Alka Seltzer Jagr Bombs. What I forgot to do was shake out my beard over my plates and then eat the scraps that fell out. Instead I got real tired and took a nap on the back patio. I woke up to find 3 Buzzards a hyena and the dark haired Indigo Girl picking the meat chops out of my beard. MAN THAT TICKLED!!!