no wonder they call her Joan Rivers

I just went through a messy break up, this woman was a slob and she left her crap all over my camper. Yeah wait let me back up for you guys. Times have been tough for the Kenny, I've had to move into a KOA somewhere outside of Stone Mountain Georgia. I lost all of my possessions in a card game, I forgot when to walk away. That is the step I never forget. I usually walk away from everything. I couldn't this time.

I had pocket Deuces and went all in with my house, my bank accounts and everything else I own. I had no idea Joan Rivers would call me. I was ahead in the hand preflop. my deuces against her Ace King. I was feeling pretty good about my ducks. The flop went ahead and flopped and it was a 4 then a 3 then a 2. I was going nutcakes my beard hairs were standing on end. I looked at Joan and her face started to slide off of her head just like in raiders of the lost ark. The turn card was a 9 and in the back of my head I screamed "no help to anyone!!" Joan picked up her fur coat grabbed her knock off Coach purse and started to walk out the door. The river card was a 5. I started to jump up and down and celebrate but then I looked at Joan and she said "can we talk I just caught a straight on the river!!" Her face almost looked human when she said this, my beard and hair turned white and I had a massive heart attack.

Fast forward one week later I am happy again and living in my camper with a wonderful 400 pound woman I rescued from a fat camp down the road. She moved right in threw her stuff down and started to eat the oak kitchen cabinets. then she started to eat the walls. After she ate the third wall I was like enough already and I kicked her out of what was left of my camper.

The good news is FEMA is sending a team to the KOA and I should have a replacement camper in 9-56 months. Thanks America!