Maybe I'm lucky? Maybe it's divine intervention? Maybe I have had enough lot lizard love that my mind expanded 10x that of John Lennon? Actually I think each one of my beard follicles has a mind of it's own and those minds are all connected via some silver grid that sends energy waves to my brain. Possible? No? Impossible? Still no!!
I don't want to turn this blog into a look at me and my beard and think about how smart I am thing... too late? Well if you're like me you hate dumb people!! Did you ever talk to someone so dumb that by the end of the conversation you wanted to listen to an entire Ringo Starr Record? No? Then you have never spoken with Mario Van Peebles. I first met Mario back in 1981 when we were working on "Waltz of the Stork". I taught him how to project in a theater and he taught me how to drool in the key of G#. I remember at the end of a show one night it took him 45 minutes to take his shoes off. He couldn't remember which one he put on first and he didn't want to take them off in the wrong order. Duh everyone knows left shoe first middle shoe second.
I don't want to turn this blog into a look at how dumb Mario Van Peebles is thing... to late? OK well here are the top 10 dumb things Mario Van Peebles has said to me.
10) Is that a Cadillac in your pants or are you just happy it's not a Cadillac in your pants.
9) Ishtar? I hardly knew her
8) Thank God Paul McCartney broke up with the Beatles and invented Buffalo Wings
7) I should have won something for my role in Rappin
6) BRRRRRR GGRRRRR POOOOP
5) This is my mini van I named it Mario Van Persons
4) Damn these gas prices are crazy yo
3) Is that a new beard or the same one you always have
2) Do Run Run Da Do Run Run
1) Sausage is bad for you
Sexy Beard OUT!!!!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Internet Silence
I haven't had a chance to blog for quite sometime. Besides the fact that I forgot how to use my words my beard's built in wifi was on the fritz.
Not much has changed for the Kenny, I recently had a face lift to remove some pimples. It's kind of like throwing the baby out with the bath water but you know me I don't like babies, or baths, or water or throwing things. The only thing I throw is my weight around the local VFW. I wonder how those vets feel knowing that I can walk in at anytime and take their women away from them. It's great to be the Kenny.
I have been playing a little co-ed soccer. Here's a picture of our goalie Sea Biscuit
Don't tell anyone but I kinda have a crush on that Philly.
On an unrelated but newsworthy note I have a new video coming out.
It's called take that you tube and stick it where the sun don't shine. I am so sick of You Tube spreading lies about me and Wilfred Brimley. For those of you who think we are back together as a hot power couple we're not. We have been able to bury the armpit and become good friends. Friends with benefits? Yes. Lovers? No. It takes a lot for me to be called someones lover. Just ask Dan Rather! I made him jump through hoops of fire in a clown costume before I ever held him in my arms and cried lover. Danny boy wiped my tears and returned my love by telling me "An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger."
Thanks Danny Boy
Thank you for the memories
Sexy Beard Out
Not much has changed for the Kenny, I recently had a face lift to remove some pimples. It's kind of like throwing the baby out with the bath water but you know me I don't like babies, or baths, or water or throwing things. The only thing I throw is my weight around the local VFW. I wonder how those vets feel knowing that I can walk in at anytime and take their women away from them. It's great to be the Kenny.
I have been playing a little co-ed soccer. Here's a picture of our goalie Sea Biscuit
Don't tell anyone but I kinda have a crush on that Philly.
On an unrelated but newsworthy note I have a new video coming out.
It's called take that you tube and stick it where the sun don't shine. I am so sick of You Tube spreading lies about me and Wilfred Brimley. For those of you who think we are back together as a hot power couple we're not. We have been able to bury the armpit and become good friends. Friends with benefits? Yes. Lovers? No. It takes a lot for me to be called someones lover. Just ask Dan Rather! I made him jump through hoops of fire in a clown costume before I ever held him in my arms and cried lover. Danny boy wiped my tears and returned my love by telling me "An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger."
Thanks Danny Boy
Thank you for the memories
Sexy Beard Out
Friday, March 21, 2008
Don't Freak out
I'm helping my buddy Dale out by posting his blog on my blog. He's a good guy he just doesn't have inernet access so what the hell I'll help him out. checkhim out at http://dalelovesthebuzz.blogspot.com/
As for me I'm doing pretty good these days. my infections are starting to clear up and I only have to go to physical therapy 4 times a year. I don't know how I strained my beard but I am glad it is starting to heal.
Charles Barkley called me the other day and asked me who is in my t-Mobile fav five I told him not his black ass. we giggled a little kissed and then I gave him the following list.
5) Wilford Brimley. yes my old lover Wilfey. I know he beats me and treats me like crap but I still love him and I hope one day we can be together
4) Yeah Dave Mustaine. Dave has always been my biggest musical influence and the Kenny is proud to model his career after the Megadeath Master of Music
3) Wink Martindale IS RIGHT!!
2) Sean Puff Daddy P Diddy Combs. We talk on the phone for 4 hours a night. We usually talk about baseball, politics, deep sea fishing and the Indigo Girls. he's good peoples
1) NO BRAINER!! The other love of my life
Sexy Beard OUT
As for me I'm doing pretty good these days. my infections are starting to clear up and I only have to go to physical therapy 4 times a year. I don't know how I strained my beard but I am glad it is starting to heal.
Charles Barkley called me the other day and asked me who is in my t-Mobile fav five I told him not his black ass. we giggled a little kissed and then I gave him the following list.
5) Wilford Brimley. yes my old lover Wilfey. I know he beats me and treats me like crap but I still love him and I hope one day we can be together
4) Yeah Dave Mustaine. Dave has always been my biggest musical influence and the Kenny is proud to model his career after the Megadeath Master of Music
3) Wink Martindale IS RIGHT!!
2) Sean Puff Daddy P Diddy Combs. We talk on the phone for 4 hours a night. We usually talk about baseball, politics, deep sea fishing and the Indigo Girls. he's good peoples
1) NO BRAINER!! The other love of my life
Sexy Beard OUT
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Just like the fall guy
I'm not the kind to kiss and tell... Until now... I hate to brag but back in the day I had a thing with Loni Anderson
yeah that Loni Anderson. I can't believe I kept my silver beard shut about it for this long. I don't know why it didn't last. Maybe it was my bisexuality that turned her off, maybe she couldn't look directly at my facial hair. I guess I will never know. But just for the record let it be known that I had a relationship with Loni Anderson.
yeah this Lonie anderson
I really thought she was the one. I didn't mind her bad breath or her wolf like body odor. I was in love with Loni.
yeah this Loni
I don't know why I'm admitn' to all this now. She hasn't aged as gracefully as me and my silver stache.
yeah this Loni
Sexy Beard Out
yeah that Loni Anderson. I can't believe I kept my silver beard shut about it for this long. I don't know why it didn't last. Maybe it was my bisexuality that turned her off, maybe she couldn't look directly at my facial hair. I guess I will never know. But just for the record let it be known that I had a relationship with Loni Anderson.
yeah this Lonie anderson
I really thought she was the one. I didn't mind her bad breath or her wolf like body odor. I was in love with Loni.
yeah this Loni
I don't know why I'm admitn' to all this now. She hasn't aged as gracefully as me and my silver stache.
yeah this Loni
Sexy Beard Out
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
