Why am I the smartest person in the world?

Maybe I'm lucky? Maybe it's divine intervention? Maybe I have had enough lot lizard love that my mind expanded 10x that of John Lennon? Actually I think each one of my beard follicles has a mind of it's own and those minds are all connected via some silver grid that sends energy waves to my brain. Possible? No? Impossible? Still no!!

I don't want to turn this blog into a look at me and my beard and think about how smart I am thing... too late? Well if you're like me you hate dumb people!! Did you ever talk to someone so dumb that by the end of the conversation you wanted to listen to an entire Ringo Starr Record? No? Then you have never spoken with Mario Van Peebles. I first met Mario back in 1981 when we were working on "Waltz of the Stork". I taught him how to project in a theater and he taught me how to drool in the key of G#. I remember at the end of a show one night it took him 45 minutes to take his shoes off. He couldn't remember which one he put on first and he didn't want to take them off in the wrong order. Duh everyone knows left shoe first middle shoe second.

I don't want to turn this blog into a look at how dumb Mario Van Peebles is thing... to late? OK well here are the top 10 dumb things Mario Van Peebles has said to me.

10) Is that a Cadillac in your pants or are you just happy it's not a Cadillac in your pants.

9) Ishtar? I hardly knew her

8) Thank God Paul McCartney broke up with the Beatles and invented Buffalo Wings

7) I should have won something for my role in Rappin

6) BRRRRRR GGRRRRR POOOOP

5) This is my mini van I named it Mario Van Persons

4) Damn these gas prices are crazy yo

3) Is that a new beard or the same one you always have

2) Do Run Run Da Do Run Run

1) Sausage is bad for you

Sexy Beard OUT!!!!

Internet Silence

I haven't had a chance to blog for quite sometime. Besides the fact that I forgot how to use my words my beard's built in wifi was on the fritz.

Not much has changed for the Kenny, I recently had a face lift to remove some pimples. It's kind of like throwing the baby out with the bath water but you know me I don't like babies, or baths, or water or throwing things. The only thing I throw is my weight around the local VFW. I wonder how those vets feel knowing that I can walk in at anytime and take their women away from them. It's great to be the Kenny.

I have been playing a little co-ed soccer. Here's a picture of our goalie Sea Biscuit

Don't tell anyone but I kinda have a crush on that Philly.

On an unrelated but newsworthy note I have a new video coming out.
It's called take that you tube and stick it where the sun don't shine. I am so sick of You Tube spreading lies about me and Wilfred Brimley. For those of you who think we are back together as a hot power couple we're not. We have been able to bury the armpit and become good friends. Friends with benefits? Yes. Lovers? No. It takes a lot for me to be called someones lover. Just ask Dan Rather! I made him jump through hoops of fire in a clown costume before I ever held him in my arms and cried lover. Danny boy wiped my tears and returned my love by telling me "An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger."

Thanks Danny Boy

Thank you for the memories

Sexy Beard Out