Torture

If you watch Fox news like I do you see a lot of outrage about torture. You want to know what torture is friend? It's having to deal with my damn fans? Back in the 70's it was great I was picking up hot babes after shows and taking them back to my home in the mountains and teaching them how to make a bong out of a 7up can, pipe cleaners, fish food and hamster bones.

The only problem is those hot babes back in the 70's are still my fans and let me tell you they ain't aged as well as the Kenny. A lot of these chicks are grandmothers with missing teeth. I just want to walk into the Cracker Barrel one time and eat my grits, eggs, pork and meatloaf sandwich in peace. Every time I show up in my tour bus and with my entourage they are all like remember me Kenny? I saw you live in Stone Mountain Georgia in 1979 and after the show you took me to the KOA where I lived and threw M-80's at me. Of course The Kenny remembers you....ha..... you and every other flea bag mountain turd I done that too. Let me guess you're name's Brenda? for some reason they're all named Brenda? Or is it Linda? It's not Lydia.... damn torture is getting to me.

Oh yeah torture. Here is another thing that tortures me. A few years back I gave Gary Coleman my cricket phone number. I didn't think he would call me but every morning at 6:00am he does. He's all like "My Kidney's this and my Kidney's that" then he's all "My parents this my parents that" then he's all like "Conrad Bain touched this and Conrad touched that" I get it Gary you had a great life. Not everyone is as lucky as you so why do I have to hear it every day. I know you guys may be worried Gary will read this and get mad. Don't worry I am going to put this post at the top of the blog so it will be too high for him to see it way up at the top of the monitor. You know the Kenny always thinking.

Sexy Beard OOOOOUUUUTTTT