Kenny Reaches out to the Community

Folks just wanted to pass this article along. I wrote it for the Pigeon Forge press and they may publish it as an ad I pay for.



America, Old America, Dear US of A, You are my one and only and my heart perishes to see you in such distress. Many people are hurting right here in our own neighborhoods and the Sexy Beard is here to help financially and spiritually.



From this day forward I will donate one can of soup to the Nashville Rescue Mission the day after Halloween. Keep in mind this will only be done on leap years and years that don't end in an even number.



Two months ago I donated all of my Armani suits to a homeless shelter in Atlanta. I really have no interest in helping others I just think it's hilarious to see someone in an $1,300 suit asking for nickels.



I will also vow to donate $27,000 dollars to the Lonnie Anderson breast enhancement insTITute.



I vow to read a book before the year is out.



Whenever I see a penny on the ground I will pick it up and put it in a piggy bank, when the piggy bank gets full I will crack open the piggy bank take the penny's to coinstar pocket the money and donate the broken piggy bank to Toys for Tots. The kids will love trying to put that thing back together. It will be like a porcelain puzzle that can cut you.



I will start to recycle when it's convenient for me.



To help stop foreclosures I will come to your house and burn it down for you free of charge. You provide the lighter fluid and the match and I will scorch your home to the ground. I will pay you and extra hundie if you leave your pets inside. Nothing brings me more joy than yelps for help.



America I would like to close by saying, look at all the Kenny is doing. If a huge star like me can reach down and do his part imagine what all of you middle to lower middle class people can do. Get off your fat McDonald's assess and make a difference in you world.



Sexy Beard